Memorial and rememberance of the dead

Today on my way to work, I passed a big-rig (lorry) for a sand and gravel company. On the back of the trailer, someone painted "In memory of Gary ...".

Obviously Gary meant a lot to someone at the company. This person also had the authority or permission from someone of authority to paint this memorial. I wondered who was this person, what did he do, what made him a source of rememberance?

Beyond that, I though about the temporary nature of the memorial. When the company decides to repaint the trailer, will they also repaint the memorial? When the company sells the trailer or it gets destroyed, will they paint the memorial on another trailer or in some other place or form?

Finally, when the person to whom Gary was important leaves the company and the last vestige of any corporate memory of Gary is gone, whom will carry on this rememberance? Who will attest to the importance of Gary.

I don't mean to be overly melodramatic, but this idea of rememberance is important, more than we think about. For instance, your work directly affects the company you work for. They pay you to make that contribution. You can take pride in the contribution. However when you leave the company, how long will people remember your contribution. How long will that fact that you ever worked there be in the company memory? Certainly the amount of time has to do with how important you really were, or how long your contributions actually affect the company after your departure. But my guess for "normal" employees, that it is a couple of years at best.

To me this is sad. I worked long and hard at my last company. But it has been almost 4 years since I left. There are maybe 4 people still at the company that would remember me and maybe only one or two of my pieces of software that are still used... but used by people that never knew me. All of my hard work had no lasting effect. This may seem a little egomaniacal, but I am slightly overstating the idea for emphasis.

A yet sadder circumstance would be that of cemetaries and gravestones. Near where I live, there was a cemetery that had fallen into disrepair. Around 1965, the county decided that it didn't like having a cemetery that was full of weeds and where seemingly nobody cared that it was even there. Instead of fixing up the cemetery or trying to find a caretaker, they removed all headstones (some 5 feet high of rare solid marble) "dumped" them in a nearby dry creekbed, and made the cemetery into a park. Granted most of the bodies were buried their in the 1850's so there would be little if anything to exhume and rebury, but this was quite shocking to me.

Still, when we die and the people that cared for us die, who will remember us? Who will care that we lived. Who will care about us? Likely no one. Harsh as this sounds, it is inescapable that our current society only cares about what is current. I am as guilty as anyone. Some may question, though, why even bother? Beyond our desire to be remembered as important, why does it matter to be remembered?

For us, we can show our love (something that transcends life and death) by rememberance. This is one reason we have cemeteries. My sister's husband died (he was just 34) while an on-duty Califonia Highway Patrol Officer. She and her husband seemed to be utilitarian people, not particularly religious. He wanted to be cremated. I was with her when she made the decision to bury him instead. She said that she would feel better to have a place to "visit" him, than just some vase on the mantle. We supported her decision because knowing him, he would have wanted her to be happy; he would want her to do what is best for her. She and their daughter can physically express their love for him through a visit to the cemetery.

Orthodox Christians pray for those who have died. We do it not because we think we can change how the person lived their life (although time is a funny thing). We do it as an act of love for the person, to tell God that this person meant something to us and to ask mercy for this person at the final judgement. God's mercy is freely offered and unbounded. If we pray for people in this temporary world and expect God's favorable response, why would death seem to limit our prayer. Love is not something created in this world, for God is Love. Love trancends death. Gary was loved by someone and they wanted to show that love to others and made a memorial for him.

The Church is the ultimate organization to remember people. The Church has no end. Though a corporation does not remember you when you leave, the Church does. The Orthodox Church keeps a list of those who have passed away. It remembers them at every Divine Liturgy (Eucharistic service).

Our prayer is more than simply asking for mercy. Our prayer is a sign of respect and love. Our prayer is as much for us as it is for the person for whom we pray. Expressing love we show the true nature for which God created us. If God hears our prayers for those who are still alive, why would he not hear our prayers for those who are alive in Christ?

It is nice to know that someone will remember me when I am dead, and all those that cared for me are gone. That I will matter to people who never knew me. That I will be cared for simple because I finished the race.

May your memory be eternal, Gary.

About my thoughts

I am always coming up with new ideas and opinions. Some about society, many about Orthodox Christianity. So I decided to publish them via a blog.

I am an Orthodox Christian living in the USA. I am a member of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese of North America. I am a member of a minor clergy order called a Subdeacon, but not because I am particularly intelligent or holy. However, I am very opinionated!

As a disclaimer, my opinions may not reflect those of the Church in general, or the Archdiocese in particular. I do not claim to have deep theological knowledge. My opinions stem from a common sense understanding of Orthodox Christianity (herein simply referred to as Orthodoxy) and society in general. I expect that there will be many differences in opinion, and I am always open to hearing them and changing my own opinion if convinced.

If you would like to solicit my opinion about society or Orthodoxy, just post a comment.